I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize