I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
