I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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