i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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