I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
