Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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