I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
