Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
