It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
