I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
