a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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