Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
