It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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