Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
