i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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