nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
