none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
