Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
