I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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