just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
