Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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