..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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