a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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