I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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