After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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