addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
