just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
