is your mom at the bar?
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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