Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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