We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
