OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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