I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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