We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
