Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
