Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
