i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
