Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
