I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
