I'm jealous of your bromance
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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