she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
