BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
