he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
