Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
