well I can't set my house on fire every night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
