There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
