There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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