What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
