my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize