so explain again why im purple
no
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
