so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
