IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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