my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let's get the cat blown out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
