my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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