Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
