And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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