Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
