we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
