I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
