I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
