I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dicks are not precious.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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