dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
