I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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