If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
