My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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