I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize